A Catholic Monthly Magazine

Tag Archive for ‘humour’

July Crossword by Max

The winner of the Marist Messenger prize for the May Crossword was Joyce Taylor of Wigram, Christchurch. Solution for June Across: 1 Lord, 3 Barabbas, 9 Chimere, 10 Terce, 11 Orant, 12 Israel, 14 Simeon, 16 Philip, 19 Stigma, 21 Merit, 24 Ochre, 25 Galilee, 26 Dewberry, 27 Acid. Down: 1 Lacrosse, 2 Raita, 4 […]

Can you Bear It?

Trick questions: Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name? Answer: Johnny, of course! How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole! […]

June Crossword by Max

The winner of the Marist Messenger prize for the April Crossword was Raewyn Murray of Woodville. Solution for May Across: 1 Holy See, 5 Cupid, 8 Diaconate, 9 Nov, 10 Evade, 12 Godhead, 13 Consolation, 16 Aramaic, 18 Totem, 20 Tai, 21 Golf links, 23 Renal, 24 Yarrows. Down: 1 Hedge, 2 Lea, 3 Shovels, […]

Getting Along With People You Don’t Like

There have been people put on this earth to push your buttons, tick you off, and suck the life out of you. You know who they are. This statement was written by Marsha Petrie Sue, author of Toxic People. Her observation is one which strongly resonates because most of us have contact with people we […]

Can you Bear It?

One liners: If at first you don’t succeed, blame your computer. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do. If you take your laptop for a run, you jog your memory. I went to see the eye doctor in Alaska. Turned out to be […]

April Crossword by Max

The winner of the Marist Messenger prize for the March Crossword was Robert Thomson of North Sydney, NSW, Australia. Solution for April Across: 1 Prophet, 5 Arena, 8 Utter, 9 Introit, 10 Beatification, 11 Side, 12 Pyx, 13 RCIA, 17 Excommunicate, 20 Godhead, 21 Third, 22 Nurse, 23 Yardman. Down: 1 Plumb, 2 Outward, 3 […]

Can you Bear It?

What did the hat say to the scarf? I’ll go on ahead and you hang around. “My uncle in Melbourne tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from a Holden, the tyres from a Porsche, and the exhaust system from a Honda”. “Really? What did […]

Can you Bear It?

The army captain spoke sternly to the corporal: “Corporal, where’s that horse I told you I wanted shod?” “Did you say shod?” said the corporal. A priest was invited to a party. He was properly dressed, wearing his priest’s collar. A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the […]

Talking About Spirituality Today: Five Gospel Loves:

 b] Prayer and Humour We saw last month the ‘must’ from Jesus – to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. In our lives, then, it is imperative that we put aside time for God, namely, we pray. But is it just a command laid on us from outside? […]

‘Fun’-damentally – Pope John XXIII

With the 50th anniversary of his death approaching, it is time to recall this wonderfully human Pope who launched the renewal of Vatican II. “We must blow off the dust from the throne of Constantine which has been lying too long on the Chair of Peter.” Pope John XXIII. He was born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli […]