A Catholic Monthly Magazine

Can You Bear It?

A man was amazed to see a dog playing poker in a bar. “Bartender, is that a real dog playing poker”? he asked. “Yes. He’s a real dog”. “Is he any good”? “No. Whenever he has a good hand, he wags his tail”!


A dog was so clever that his owner sent him to university. When he was home on holiday, the dog admitted he hadn’t done well in science or history but said he had made a good start in foreign languages. “Okay,” replied the owner, “say something in a foreign language”. The dog said, “Meow”!


Caller: “There’s something wrong with my password. Whenever I type it, it just shows stars”. Help Desk: “Those asterisks are to protect you. If someone is standing behind you, they can’t read your password”. Caller: “Yeah, but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me”!


The computer whiz kid fixed the problem in no time. The owner asked what had been wrong with it, and was told it was “an ID ten T error”. He had never heard of such a thing and asked what it meant. With a grin, the whiz kid said, “write it down. I think you’ll work it out”.
So he did: I D 1 0 T!


Mr Rabbit was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, “Good morning, Mr Crow”. Mr Crow shouted back down, “Good morning, Mr. Rabbit”. Mr Rabbit: “What are you doing today”? Mr Crow: “Absolutely nothing, Mr Rabbit! And loving it”! That sounded pretty good to Mr Rabbit. So he shouted, “Do you think I could do that too”? Mr Crow shouted back down, “I don’t see why not”! Mr Rabbit lay down on the side of the road and began doing absolutely nothing. Half an hour later, a fox came along and ate him. The moral of the story: you can get away with doing absolutely nothing, but only if you’re really high up!


I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they haven’t even seen one of his paintings!   


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