Can You Bear It?

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice willing to work long, hard hours. He instructed the boy, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer." The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith!

Teacher: Jones, spell "weather."
Jones: "W-e-t-t-h-e-r"
Teacher: Well, Jones, that's certainly the worst spell of weather we've had for some time!

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes asked. Watson thought for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke, "Someone has stolen our tent!"