Can You Bear It?

Three gentlemen were all born the same year and decided to go to lunch together to celebrate turning 50. They decided to go out to the local German restaurant because it was near to where they worked. The next time they decided to celebrate turning 60 years old and decided to go to the local German restaurant because the food was good. The next time they decided to celebrate turning 70 years old and decided to go to the local German restaurant because it was disabled accessible. The next time, to celebrate turning 80 years old, they decided to go to the local German restaurant because they had never been there before...

If you can start the day without coffee, if you are always cheerful, if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, if you are understanding when your loved ones are too busy for you, if you never treat a rich friend better than a poor friend, if you face the world without lies and deceit, then you are probably the family dog!

A lovely elderly lady telephoned Wellington Hospital. She asked, ‘Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’ The operator said, ‘I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?’ The lady, in her weak, shaky voice, said, ‘Ellen Jones, Room 903.’ The operator replied, ‘Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room.’ After a few minutes she said, ‘I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Ellen is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her house surgeon has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.’ The elderly lady said, ‘Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.’ The operator replied, ‘You're more than welcome. Is Ellen your daughter?’ The elderly lady said, ‘No, I'm Ellen Jones in Room 903. No one tells me anything!’