A Catholic Monthly Magazine

Can You Bear It?

Bear Laughing_cropTwo constables call the station on the radio.

“Hello. Is this the Sarge?”


“We have a case here Sir. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped.”

“Have you arrested the woman?”

“No sir. The floor is still wet.”

As long as there have been farmers, there has been the dilemma of whether to be in church on Sunday or to make hay while the sun shines.

Like the farmer who spent Sunday morning trying to get hay in ahead of the rain. As he came down the road with a full load, he met the preacher, who looked at him reproachfully.

“Reverend,” the farmer explained, “It’s better to be sitting on this hay thinking about God than sitting in church thinking about hay.”

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter.

Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment.

Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with  this note “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”

There  is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and  announced to his congregation: “I have good news  and bad news.

The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

The bad  news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”    

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