A Catholic Monthly Magazine

Can You Bear It?

Little Bill wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great!" said Bill. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Dad really liked it, too, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

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The sentence, "Are you as bored as I am?" can be read backwards and still make sense.

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The local hunting guide got his party hopelessly lost in the mountains and they were upset: "You told us you were the best guide in the Northern Territory!" "I am," he said, "but I think we're in Queensland now!"

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"How was your blind date?" a university student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner!"

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A man placed his order in the cafeteria: "I want three flat tyres and a pair of headlights." The waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and asked the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tyres and a pair of headlights. Does he think this is a spare parts shop?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tyres means three pancakes and a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up." "Oh," says the waitress. She thought about this and then gave the customer a plate of baked beans. The man said, "What are the beans for?" The waitress replied, "I thought that while you were waiting for the flat tyres and headlights, you might want to gas up!"

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Grandma: "Oh, what nice new boots! Where did you get them?" Little girl: "At the store." Grandma: "Which one?" Little girl: "Both of them!"

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