Can you bear it?

George W. Bush saw Moses at the grocery store and said, “Hey, aren’t you Moses?” 

Moses said nothing just kept on shopping.

A few aisles over Geroge ran into Moses again, and said “Hey, aren’t you Moses?”

Again Moses said nothing.

A few aisles over again George saw Moses and said, “I just KNOW you’re Moses!”

This time Moses replied, “Hey, the last time I talked to a Bush, I ended up in the wilderness for 40 years!”

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A true story

During one Marist meeting a document surfaced containing the famous initials GHD - of a well-known Marist. The editor put a computer ‘spell -check’ through the document, and the computer balked at the new three letter word, and treating it like a typo suggested an alternative: GOD?

The all-wise computer will never know how close it got, but there was a great deal of merriment among the younger confreres.

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Tom went out shopping for a Christmas present for his wife.

“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.

“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.

Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.

Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”

So the clerk handed him a mirror.

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More awful puns...

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity . I can’t put it down .

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .

Energizer battery arrested . Charged with battery .

I didn’t like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.